2023 Listener Limericks

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day and our Sixth Annual Pledge Drive Telethon Fundraiser donors, I’m self-publishing this year’s limericks! These were written for our amazing friends of the program who donated funds to help us keep the show running. I hope you all enjoy your limericks!

Miffed

If you love your mom and your dad

And your devotion is not just a fad

Then send them a gift

Or else they’ll feel miffed

And your inheritance will be oh so sad

Basalt

There once was a brother named Walt

Whose favorite rock was basalt

It’s good in small portions

But hard to contortion

And slightly less tasty than salt

Beaver Dam

My sister belongs to the beavers

Their pelts oh so cherished by weavers

They like to build dams

She thinks they’re like ham

I won’t taste, so I’ll have to believe her

Slappy

My brother’s middle name is Hank

Not Slappy, or Douglas, or Frank

You could call him Whitey

And he’ll say “Alrighty”

“So long as it’s only a prank”

Lutheran Potluck

My grandparents live in Minnesota

Not Iowa, nor North or South Dakota

They sure love hotdish

It’s mighty delisch!

I sure hope they never move to Sarasota!

Milk and Honey

I have a great auntie named Anna

She survives off of green tea and manna

She loves the Incredible Hulk

And hits the gym for her bulk

So one day she’ll look like Eric Bana

Go Pack Go

My friend has a puppy named Jordy

A retriever, I think, or a corgi

He goes out at night

And causes the neighbors a fright

When he barks, they exclaim “Oh Lordy”

Generous

My great aunt is known to most as Marge

Her pocketbook, it must be quite large

To donate to the kids

Brings tears to my lids

These tears in my eyes, they truly discharge

Cake Shake

My friends are named Abbie and Jake

The only eat portillo’s cake shakes

Their metabolism is high

Tho diabetes may be nigh

I’m fearful their diet’s a mistake

Corners

Betty is one of the best

She’s a drug dealer, I say just in jest

A distributor of pills

Like tylenol or advil

To know her, you’d truly be blessed

Thanks again for donating, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day!