Beantown Podcast 2026 FINAL NFL Mock Draft

Well it’s that time of year again. We’re just about 24 hours out from the 1st Round of the 2026 NFL Mock Draft which will be held in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is a great underrated city in my opinion. The rivers are cool. The fact that their 3 pro teams all have the same color scheme is cool. I watched that crime movie with Christian Bale called Out of the Furnace a few years ago and it was ok, not great, but they filmed that in Pittsburgh probably. It feels like they did. Also, Out of the Furnace would be a dynamite name for my next podcast. Also, I forgot the movie also stars Woody Harrelson, Casey Affleck, Zoe Saldana, Willem Dafoe, and a whole other cast of characters. You’ve probably never even heard of it!

Without further ado, here is what I’m hearing regarding tomorrow night’s 1st Round of the draft!

1. Oakland Raiders (I know it’s Las Vegas, I don’t care): Fernando Mendoza (QB). There’s a lot of steam picking up here surrounding Mendoza to the Raiders. I’m going to go against the grain and mock him to the Raiders though.
2. NY Jets: It doesn’t matter (?). They’re going to be ruined.
3. Arizona Cardinals: See: NY Jets (?). Lol
4. Tennessee Titans: Jeremiyah Love (RB). Where the heck did that “y” come from? I’ve never seen a y in that name before. Some parents just have to be different. Also, this pick is going to be terrible. Remember when the Raiders took Ashton Jeanty?
5. NY Giants: That brother of Odell Beckham Jr who won Love Island USA a few years ago (WR maybe?). Was his name Kordell or something? I don’t know if he actually plays football but at least he has media training.
6. Cleveland Browns: Anyone with fewer rape lawsuits than DeShaun Watson (?). Could be a number of options here.
7. Washington Commanders: One of those defenders who had 3 COVID redshirts so now they’re being drafted at age 28 (let’s say OLB). The Commanders desperately need to get younger on defense and 28 is younger than 35, which is the average age of their current unit.
8. New Orleans Saints: Miss their pick from partying too late in the French Quarter (?). You laugh, but it literally happened to the Vikings in 2003.
9. Kansas City Chiefs: Ruben Studdard (singer). The Chiefs intend to draft legal headache Rueben Bain Jr. but Andy Reid loves vintage idol just like me and gets confused. Light years better than drafting Clay Aiken however. He would have to be a kicker for sure. Or a ball boy. Studdard is still a blue chip DT prospect, albeit kind of old.
10. NY Giants (again): Carnell Tate (WR). This was originally the Bengals pick, and considering Cincinnati was legally obligated to take a WR with their first pick, the Giants do the respectable thing and honor the selection.
11. Miami Dolphins: Everyone (?). You know how some teams come into a draft feeling like they’re “one player away” from having a complete team? What’s the opposite of that? I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a worse football team drafting so low. Yikes.
12. Dallas Cowboys: Trey Smack (K). Don’t think for one second that just because America’s Team recently made Brandon Aubrey the highest kicker in the league that they don’t want to bring in a little competition for training camp. Iron sharpens iron.
13. LA Rams: Literally any edge rusher that is not wanted for domestic abuse, aggravated battery, and aggravated stalking (?). This was supposed to be the Falcons pick before they foolishly traded it in last year’s draft to pick up Walter Payton Man of the Year candidate James Pearce Jr. Look for LA to learn from Atlanta’s mistake.
14. Baltimore Ravens: Whatever WR is supposed to be really good but never lives up to expectations (?). That’s Ravens football baby. Step aside, Rashod Bateman, you got competition. Sort of. Good thing Zay Flowers is a perennial Pro Bowler!
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Peter Woods (IDL). I like to think Todd Bowles goes to bed every night longingly gazing at the headshots of N’donkeykong Suh and Vita Vea.
16. NY Jets (again): It still doesn’t matter (?). In a draft shock, this is actually the first trade of the night. The Jets trade the #16 pick to the Chicago Bears for the #25 overall pick and the Bears 2027 1st round draft pick. The Jets then realize they made a huge mistake, so they trade back with the Bears by sending the #25 overall pick, 2027 1st round draft pick, and 2028 1st round draft pick to the Bears for the #16 overall pick.
17. Detroit Lions: Francis Mauioga (T). You just know Dan Campbell is pissed off about how soft the Lions line play was in 2025. This may allow Penei Sewel to move to WR full time.
18. Minnesota Vikings: Some cornerback who will inevitably be cut, arrested, or murdered before training camp (?). Sad but true. Brian Flores gets his guy.
19. Carolina Panthers: The shortest guard in the draft (G). It’s about time Bryce Young gets to actually see who he’s chucking it to.
20. Dallas Cowboys: Whichever defensive back can successfully stare at the sun without permanent eye damage (S). Can you imagine the advantage in JerryWorld if there’s one guy on the field who can stare through the blinding sun while everyone else’s corneas are getting burned into oblivion? Highest paid safety in the league in 4 years, I guarantee it.
21. Pittsburgh Steelers: Ty Simpson (QB). Perfect opportunity for the Steelers to draft yet another QB who has no business being drafted this high or potentially at all.
22. Los Angeles Chargers: Whichever generational tackle is planning to tear his meniscus, ACL, LCL, and aorta in week 2 of training camp (LT). The writing’s really on the wall here, isn’t it?
23. Philadelphia Eagles: That one guy who should’ve been drafted like 3rd or 4th overall and somehow fell this far (maybe OLB). He will instantly become the best edge rusher in football and the Eagles will go on to win the Super Bowl by handing it off to Saquon Barkley 50 times a game and winning each game 6-3.
24. Cleveland Browns: Feels like a good spot for some defensive end you hadn’t heard of until just now and who you’ll never hear about again (DE). If drafted one slot higher by the Eagles, this player would have been a Hall of Famer. And probably white.
25. Chicago Bears: Omar Cooper Jr. (WR). The Bears need a good replacement for DJ Moore. Someone who is great at quitting on at least one play per quarter while Caleb Williams runs for his life.
26. Buffalo Bills: KC Concepcion (WR). The Bills desperately need another slot receiver to pair with Khalil Shakir. The goal is to eventually just get to 5 slot receivers on the roster with no guys who can lineup on the outside. This gets them closer.
27. San Francisco 49ers: Whichever player majored in biochemical engineering in college (LS?). Someone absolutely has to get in there and figure out what the hell is going on with that substation. The simpler answer is probably just that Kyle Shanahan has no chill in practice.
28. Houston Texans: Some elite CB (CB). This will help the Texans goal of completely dominating every offense in football this season on their way to their annual wild card round CJ Stroud meltdown.
29. Kansas City Chiefs: Kenyon Sadiq (TE). Sadiq will be a great replacement when Travis Kelce finally retires in 2034.
30. Miami Dolphins: Someone to help toughen their image (C?). No shade to the franchise, but a dolphin just really isn’t that intimidating in the grand scheme of team mascots. What are you going to do, gently nudge me with your bottlenose?
31. New England Patriots: New side piece for Mike Vrabel (any hot piece of ass). Men have needs.
32. Seattle Seahawks: Remember when they had that linebacker with only one hand? Maybe another guy like that (ILB). I think he had a brother too, but the brother had 2 hands. It’s all a little confusing.

So there you have it! Fingers crossed that I nailed at least 31 of these! Tune in to the draft tomorrow to find out!