The Summer I Turned Pretty – Finale Predictions

It’s finally here!!! Tomorrow, September 17th, 2025, Prime Video will release the final chapter in the pulse-pounding coming-of-age romantic dramedy we all love so much, The Summer I Turned Pretty. It’s hard to believe that after all the twists, turns, debutante balls, cheating scandals, main character deaths, and Kyra Sedgwick acting masterclasses that it’s all coming to a close.

If you aren’t caught up on Season 3 or the show in general, allow me to get you up to speed. The show is based on a novel trilogy of the same name(s) by author Jenny Han, who also created the TV show. The main character is Isabelly Conklin, but she goes by Belly, which frankly is not that endearing of a shortened name but hey, her body her choice. Her belly her choice? At the start of the show, Belly is like 15 or something…however old you are when you get your traditional debutante ball (the Martha’s Vineyard equivalent of a Quinceanera). And no, I will not be reflecting more on what a debutante ball is because it’s frankly very confusing. Then you have these 2 brothers, Jeremiah (younger, on right above) and Conrad (older, not on right above) who have each doinked Belly a number of times at this point, but never at the same time (missed opportunity!). Their mom’s name escapes me, was it Charlotte or something? Well she dies at some point in Season 1. Also she was divorced and these brothers’ dad owns some sort of tech company, it’s not really clear. And they all have this gigantic cottage somewhere in Cape Cod or Martha’s Vineyard or New Brunswick, the exact location is never revealed.

Moving ahead, 2 other main characters are Kyra Sedgwick who is the mean aunt and her daughter who is Elsie Fischer whom you might know from the Bo Burnham flick 8th Grade which I actually really liked, but in this show she is like a strange elf gremlin creature and it just doesn’t land. These 2 are integral to Season 2 but not really in the other seasons. So Belly also has a mom who is this failed author, I don’t really know how she makes any money. Her dad is dead, maybe? I can’t remember if both her and the brothers’ dad is in the picture, or if it’s actually the same actor but playing 2 different characters? This is sort of that classic David Lynch twist that really rattles the cerebrum.

Does anyone really know the difference between the cerebrum and cerebellum? It’s one of those things you cover in Anatomy & Physiology but there weren’t any cool acronyms like PEMDAS or Kitchen Pots Cook Onions For Good Soup so it’s impossible to actually remember.

Belly also has a brother, and he has that stupid Gen Z broccoli haircut (Jeremiah kind of does too). I don’t know his name…Jack? It’s not Jack, but it’s similar. In Season 3, his girlfriend who is this blonde with a drug addicted mom (I think?) dumps him after he gets hit by a car. It’s really unclear, is it because she thought he was going to be disabled? It’s not super clear, but he’s walking just fine now and they’re back together, so seems like she prematurely shot her wad on what was supposed to be a dry run (thank you, Arrested Development). In Season 3 there’s also this redhead who works at the aforementioned tech company and I think she and Belly’s brother…is it Carl? They hooked up once but there was no spark so that was sort of it.

So by the time Season 3 rolls around, Belly has slept with Jeremiah and then went back to Conrad and then back to Jeremiah again and then back to Conrad and now she settled on getting engaged to Jeremiah. They plan a wedding and oscillate between having all the money in the world and then having exactly zero money, it’s super confusing. They sort of have jobs but also spend 50%+ of their time at this bougie oceanside cottage where the only local economy has to be lobstering / oystering / muscling (??) or some variation of clamming so it gets really frustrating to watch sometimes because these kids (they’re like 22 now) are entitled AF. So the wedding comes up and Jeremiah gets super drunk and I think Belly dumps him at the altar (I missed the second half of that episode) and Conrad goes to California for med school but potentially gets kicked out, it’s unclear. So Belly moves to Paris to “study” (I’ve literally never seen her study before this) and meets this Timothee Chalamet knockoff and now they live together, I think. And that pretty much takes you up until the series finale which drops tomorrow.

With all that in mind, I wanted to power rank Belly’s potential romantic outcomes, in order of most to least likely. I have never read the books and I have stayed away from spoilers, so this is all me shooting from the hip. Let me know in the comments below who your pick is – Without further ado, let’s jump in!

  1. Conrad (2:1) – At the end of the last episode, he was getting on an airplane to Paris (he definitely must have gotten expelled from med school) to I guess go find Belly and bang under the Eiffel Tower? If this guy’s dad wasn’t funding his every move, he’d never be able to afford that plane ticket. Still, it seems like they have the best chemistry and I could see Belly sticking with Conrad for at least 6 months after this until she decides she wants to sleep with Jeremiah again.
  2. Jeremiah (5:1) – This one seems a little less played out because he already dumped Belly at the altar (or vice versa) and he’s also kind of homeless. How does he afford all that conditioner for his hair? And what does he actually do at his dad’s company? Probably money laundering / cooking the books, but it’s never been totally revealed. Hoping for closure on this in the finale…
  3. French Chalamet (10:1) – I think he peaked too early because they were smooching and banging in the penultimate episode and maybe living together. There’s no way this guy is going to last all the way to the finish line, and who knows if he even wants to move to America with Belly. Plus I feel like it’s gotta be hard to get a Green Card given the current administration and also Belly absolutely sucks so why would he move to the US for this lady? France is way better than Cape Cod.
  4. Jeremiah and Conrad’s dad (20:1) – This would really be unexpected because these two haven’t really explored their sexual chemistry yet and there’s seemingly like a 25 year age gap, but Belly is totally legal now and this dad seems like the type to use his power and influence to pressure a much younger female into a sexual relationship, especially if she starts “interning” at his company. Plus this dad has already been banging his regular secretary for years, it’s not that big a deal if Belly slips in there. Plus she needs a high paying job.
  5. Belly’s mom (50:1) – The whole mom / daughter thing is just an internet porn trope and it doesn’t happen in real life. Good thing this is the Summer I Turned Pretty and not real life. But no, I don’t want to see this. Oh I just remembered her name, Laurel! Which brings me to my next point…
  6. This isn’t actually a Belly-related prediction, but I have been wanting to see Laurel and Conrad get hot and heavy for at least the last 7-8 episodes. There is some real sexual tension in the air and the chemistry is electric. Forget the age difference – this one would drive those ratings up up and away. Please please please!!!!! Show everything!
  7. Someone from the debutante ball that we forgot about (75:1) – It’s unlikely because it’s been like 6 years since the debutante ball happened, but I do distinctly recall Belly bumping and grinding on some of her fellow 10th graders during an LMFAO song (maybe Party Rock Anthem, I can’t remember) so anything is possible. That booty just wouldn’t quit.
  8. No one, Belly just focuses on herself (impossible) – Supposedly you’re supposed to ‘mature’ at your debutante ball but Belly is so reliant on others for her own happiness and emotional stability that this has a 0% chance of happening. And if the writers do decide to go this direction, it’s completely out of character for her. She has zero ability to go 5 days without sleeping with this guy, that guy, or that other guy and his brother. Sorry girl!

So there you have my predictions. Tune in on September 17th for the shocking finale! And although I’ve never been to a debutante ball myself, I am a quinceanera veteran, as you can see in the picture below. Thanks for reading!

Baby Dracula, the Chef

In a castle dark and stormy, by the glow of the moon,  

Lived a little Dracula, with an adorable wooden spoon.  

Not a fang in his mouth, nor a cape round his neck,

Just a chef’s hat and apron, grilling out on the deck.  

While others sucked blood, he stirred up his stew,  

Adding bat wings, creepy crawlies, and just a hint of goo.  

His cauldron would bubble, his ladle would steam,

This vampire cooked up one delicious dream! 

He minced his garlic without a care or fright,  

Dicing chives and onions in the dead of the night.  

For this Halloween feast, he worked with delight,  

Serving spooks and ghouls under candlelight.  

So beware if you see a cauldron that steams,  

And hear tiny giggles, or eerie little screams.  

For Baby Dracula’s meals are frightful and lean,

There’s soup for all on this Happy Halloween!

The New 3-Step: How the Waltz brothers took the world by storm overnight

By now you’ve all seen the news that Democratic nominee for president and current Vice President Kamala Harris chose Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate, capping off a dramatic ascension from farmhand nobodies to the top of Hollywood/Washington for the Waltz brothers. First, it was Oscar-glory for Christoph. Then, it was a rags to riches farmer to VP rise for Tim. Let’s take a closer look at the two brothers and breakdown their similarities and differences.

Name: Christoph Waltz / Tim Walz

Relationship: Fraternal Twins

Age: 67 (Christoph) / 60 (Tim)

Ethnicity: Austrian or Austro-Hungarian (not sure what is politically correct because of WWI)? (Christoph) / Minnesota (Tim)

Weight: 130 to 250 lbs (Christoph – Django Unchained role to title role of Andre the Giant in upcoming biopic) / Classified to Classified+ if it’s immediately after the deep fried Oreo eating contest at the Minnesota State Fair (Tim)

Breakthrough moment: Horrible Bosses 2 (Christoph) / Alec Smith Insulin Affordability Act (2021) which provides emergency assistance to Minnesotans struggling to afford their insulin (Tim)

Marriages: 2 (Christoph) / 1 + Plus a little side piece up near Brainerd (Tim)

Religion: Is Austria mostly Protestant these days? (Christoph) / Lutheran – Hot Dish Sect (Tim)

Favorite episode of 7th Heaven: The one where Simon the blonde son gets addicted to gambling and subsequently descends into moral and literal hell (Christoph) / The one where Lucy dresses super skimpy to go to the mall and also Simon’s friend’s sister is in a gang (Tim)

What they would do if they weren’t an actor/vice president: IDK that one role from Inglourious Basterds seemed a little too natural (Christoph) / Back to being a teacher but also a cocktail waitress on nights and weekends because teachers don’t make shit (Tim)

Favorite Waltz: Emmitt Smith dancing to the Blue Danube at the Dancing with the Stars finale in 2006 (Christoph) / Christoph (particularly in Muppets Most Wanted) (Tim)

Hottest take: Dez caught it (Christoph) / Jesse Ventura wasn’t THAT bad (Tim)

Advice to future generations: “If Quentin Tarantino slides into your DMs at 3am asking for feet pics, just know that if you say no, he’s not afraid to remove you from playing Bruce Lee in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” (Chrisotph) / “Michele Bachmann is definitely a little crazy but sometimes a little crazy is exactly what you want in a little side piece up near Brainerd. I mean, the stuff she can do with her pinky toe is out of this world, I tell ya” (Tim)

So there you have it, folks. What a rise to stardom for these brothers! Step aside Kevin, Joe, Nick, and Bonus. There’s a new hot ticket in town!

First 2024 Presidential Election Debate Odds from Beantown Sportsbook sponsored by Qutz by Q

The day we’ve all been waiting for is finally here! After getting totally gipped out of any good primary action, the stage is set (literally) for Sleepy/Crooked Joe vs. Felonious Monk AKA the Trumpster at 8pm tonight in the first of two 2024 presidential debates (yes, I know there was some bleh debate stuff half a year ago with Nikki Haley and DeSantis and that Rawmaswany guy and potentially the MyPillow guy, but it was like watching the undercard bouts at UFC (I think that’s what they’re called, I am not a UFC guy (UFC, what is that, Ultimate Fried Chicken? (I just learned that Colonel Sanders did not become a Colonel until he was like 60. Before that he was just some regular guy who liked chicken)))). And too bad so sad for RFK Jr (I don’t know if he has a cool nickname yet or not), I too am bummed that we don’t get to hear more about this cool brain worm…

I figured a lot of people would be visiting beantownpodcast.com or beantownpodcast.com/politics or beantownpodcast.com/maga2024 for LIVE hard-hitting election action, so I thought I’d share what the current odds are looking like from our friends over at beantownpodcast.com/sportsbook. Don’t forget to head over there and remember that to be eligible to bet, you have to live in a sportsbook-eligible state and for tax reasons you need to enter your social security number and date of birth into the site. If the site isn’t working because it’s not yet a real site, you can always email it to beantownpodcast@yahoo.com.

So without further ado, here are the First 2024 Presidential Election Debate Odds from Beantown Sportsbook sponsored by Qutz by Q.

  • Trump: “Crooked”
    • O/U: 17 (O: -110; U: -110)
  • Biden: Laughs or Chuckles (must be separate distinct chuckles for it to count individually)
    • O/U: 11 (O: -115; U: -115)
  • Trump: Mentions Hunter Biden and potentially gives him a cool new nickname??
    • O/U: 7 (O: -125; U: -125)
  • Jake Tapper: Looks really concerned
    • O/U: 12 (O: -150; U: -150)
  • Biden: Number of words you can’t really make out
    • O/U: 16 (O: -170; U: -170)
  • Trump: Number of words you can’t really make out
    • O/U: 36 (O: -220; U: -220)
  • Ken Bone: No odds, just remember Ken Bone? What a guy
  • Trump: Talks past them turning his mic off
    • O/U: 21 (O: -135; U: -135)
  • Dana Bash: Don’t really know anything about her, no odds sorry
  • Trump: Does that cool thing with his hands. You know what I’m talking about
    • O/U: 14 (O: -140; U: -140)
  • Either: “God Bless the United Shush”
    • O/U: 2 (O: -110; U: -110)

There you go, enjoy! And God bless the United Shush!

7 Wonders Board Game?

Have you guys ever played this 7 Wonders board game? I’m not over exaggerating. I’ve played about 37 different board games in my life. This is by far the worst one. Imagine trying to make a game that was so complicated and so not fun so that you could turn off an entire generation.

What if your coins are worth 3 but minus for red militaries but you can’t buy a military because you don’t have enough power swords but wait you could give your partner to your right 2 coins for one of their woods but you only have to give your partner to the left 1 coin for their sparkly gold but also if you put one down and then get some greens you can win the space race.

Where tf do the 7 wonders come into play? I am ready to dunk my head into a murky pond and just stare into the oblivion until it all goes dark.

Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport

Have you ever spent 10 hours on a layover at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport because I have and it really stunk.

And before you get all up on my ass about it, American messed up and by the time our first flight landed, our connecting flight had taken off. Smooth move Ferguson.

So for 10 hours basically we walked around a lot and had some pizza and a Caesar salad and I used the bathroom more times than I can count. Oh yeah, this was all being done while hungover. I think the only thing worse than spending 10 hours in Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport is doing it when you woke up at 5am off of 3 hours of sleep and you’re hungover. That makes it tougher.

Did you know that Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport is a civil-military public international airport? Maybe I just don’t read the airport Wikipedia pages too much, but I don’t think any of my usual airports are civil-military. It’s a hub for American which is ironic because they really sucked it up today.

Lotta stuff named after Barry Goldwater around here, Phoenix’s own. What a wild name (Barry Goldwater, not Phoenix. But also Phoenix). Apparently he was a big opponent of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Woof. Seems like he mellowed out a bit after his senate career. Pro gays in the military, pro environmental protections, pro abortion rights. You redeemed yourself a little bit there Barry.

Phoenix was 111 at the time of writing this. That’s pretty toasty. But they say it’s a dry heat. Does anyone really know much about that band named Phoenix? They have one song I know because it was on a PC MLB baseball game I had when I was a kid. I think the song is called Lisztomania. Wait did you know that Phoenix is French? And they’ve been around for 28 years? I thought they were newer. But also I don’t know anything about them so I don’t know what I was expecting. So this band is French but singing songs in English? Like ABBA being Swedish and singing in English? Here’s my question – Is there a market for me to be English-speaking but sing smash hits in a different language? Like if I recorded an album in Mandarin or did the Beantown Podcast in Tagalog, would I be an overnight celebrity overseas? Probably not, but you can’t tell me those kids from ABBA thought they were gonna become pop icons over on this side of the pond.

Did you know there’s an airline named ‘Southern Airways Express’ and they fly 2 routes out of Phoenix/s Sky Harbor International Airport, one of them being to an airport called ‘Show Low?’ What a name.

Ok I could write so much more because we still have another 90 minutes here, but I’m gassed. Still hungover and mostly just cloudy up here *gestures at head* so I will leave you with some trivia. Name the top 10 busiest routes out of Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport:

  1. Denver
  2. SeaTac
  3. Chicago O’Hare
  4. Vegas (no longer McCarran boo)
  5. DFW
  6. LAX
  7. San Diego
  8. Salt Lake
  9. MSP
  10. Atlanta aka the real Hotlanta (but Phoenix is probably warmer still)

Pray for us

Quinn David Furness

Talent Acquisition Consultant

14 E Jackson Blvd, Suite 1500

(312) 362-7131

Phil the Great

a poem for Punxsutawney Phil

Oh wonderful and mighty Phil
Great seer of all that is wise
Omnipotent, omnipresent, and certifiably omniscient
Wonderful counselor
Victorious vizier
Ageless as Keith Richards
Wise as the tree in Pocahontas
Your knowledge knoweth no bounds

For you roamed northwestern Pennsylvania long before civilizations of olde
And ye shall stroll through your tender gardens for millennia long after the human race perishes
Your pelt unmatched
Your hide divine
Your prophecy, a covenant to all mankind

Let us celebrate all with which you bestow upon us
A divine warrior amongst tribes
A leviathan amongst God’s creation

Til the end of days
So sayeth the groundhog
Let spring draw near!
No shadow shall ever match my seraphic faculty!

A happy Groundhog Day to all

a Jaguar was trying to get into my room last night

in this crazy dream. I don’t know what the deal was. I could see it clearly through the fish eye lens and he was just pacing back and forth. What was the point of the jaguar? Who even has a jaguar? Where did he come from? And more pressingly, how come anyone couldn’t help me out? You might not believe this, but this whole time, I had to be leaning my entire weight up against the door AND hold the knob of my deadbolt just to keep this cat from getting in and murdering me. I guess he had claws like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park because apparently this feline could turn the knob with his paws. The worst part was this was a long dream. You ever have those dreams where you legitimately feel like you’ve been in them for an hour+? I wonder how scientifically accurate that is – are you physically lying there in bed dreaming about that exact scenario for an hour, or are you just getting incepted and your whole time frame of reference is off like they did to the Oppenheimer guy in Inception? And was the Jaguar trying to incept me?

But at the end of the day, what did this dream really mean? Who or what was the jaguar? It wasn’t like a Fred Taylor jaguar. It was an actual regular looking jaguar who looked very hungry. Was it just a jaguar, or was it something more ambiguous, something more mystical, something with a good allegory or fable behind it, like when the apostle Paul had that dream about the Macedonian across the water? Or maybe the jaguar was actually a leopard? I don’t think I could actually tell the difference between the two under the stress of that dream. Have you ever leaned up against your front door with all your weight trying not to die for an hour? You always hear about people wearing leopard-print clothes (like bonnets or sexy lingerie), but you never really hear about sexy jaguar-print bonnets. Are jaguars more protected than leopards? I’ll do some research and find out.