The Summer I Turned Pretty – Finale Predictions

It’s finally here!!! Tomorrow, September 17th, 2025, Prime Video will release the final chapter in the pulse-pounding coming-of-age romantic dramedy we all love so much, The Summer I Turned Pretty. It’s hard to believe that after all the twists, turns, debutante balls, cheating scandals, main character deaths, and Kyra Sedgwick acting masterclasses that it’s all coming to a close.

If you aren’t caught up on Season 3 or the show in general, allow me to get you up to speed. The show is based on a novel trilogy of the same name(s) by author Jenny Han, who also created the TV show. The main character is Isabelly Conklin, but she goes by Belly, which frankly is not that endearing of a shortened name but hey, her body her choice. Her belly her choice? At the start of the show, Belly is like 15 or something…however old you are when you get your traditional debutante ball (the Martha’s Vineyard equivalent of a Quinceanera). And no, I will not be reflecting more on what a debutante ball is because it’s frankly very confusing. Then you have these 2 brothers, Jeremiah (younger, on right above) and Conrad (older, not on right above) who have each doinked Belly a number of times at this point, but never at the same time (missed opportunity!). Their mom’s name escapes me, was it Charlotte or something? Well she dies at some point in Season 1. Also she was divorced and these brothers’ dad owns some sort of tech company, it’s not really clear. And they all have this gigantic cottage somewhere in Cape Cod or Martha’s Vineyard or New Brunswick, the exact location is never revealed.

Moving ahead, 2 other main characters are Kyra Sedgwick who is the mean aunt and her daughter who is Elsie Fischer whom you might know from the Bo Burnham flick 8th Grade which I actually really liked, but in this show she is like a strange elf gremlin creature and it just doesn’t land. These 2 are integral to Season 2 but not really in the other seasons. So Belly also has a mom who is this failed author, I don’t really know how she makes any money. Her dad is dead, maybe? I can’t remember if both her and the brothers’ dad is in the picture, or if it’s actually the same actor but playing 2 different characters? This is sort of that classic David Lynch twist that really rattles the cerebrum.

Does anyone really know the difference between the cerebrum and cerebellum? It’s one of those things you cover in Anatomy & Physiology but there weren’t any cool acronyms like PEMDAS or Kitchen Pots Cook Onions For Good Soup so it’s impossible to actually remember.

Belly also has a brother, and he has that stupid Gen Z broccoli haircut (Jeremiah kind of does too). I don’t know his name…Jack? It’s not Jack, but it’s similar. In Season 3, his girlfriend who is this blonde with a drug addicted mom (I think?) dumps him after he gets hit by a car. It’s really unclear, is it because she thought he was going to be disabled? It’s not super clear, but he’s walking just fine now and they’re back together, so seems like she prematurely shot her wad on what was supposed to be a dry run (thank you, Arrested Development). In Season 3 there’s also this redhead who works at the aforementioned tech company and I think she and Belly’s brother…is it Carl? They hooked up once but there was no spark so that was sort of it.

So by the time Season 3 rolls around, Belly has slept with Jeremiah and then went back to Conrad and then back to Jeremiah again and then back to Conrad and now she settled on getting engaged to Jeremiah. They plan a wedding and oscillate between having all the money in the world and then having exactly zero money, it’s super confusing. They sort of have jobs but also spend 50%+ of their time at this bougie oceanside cottage where the only local economy has to be lobstering / oystering / muscling (??) or some variation of clamming so it gets really frustrating to watch sometimes because these kids (they’re like 22 now) are entitled AF. So the wedding comes up and Jeremiah gets super drunk and I think Belly dumps him at the altar (I missed the second half of that episode) and Conrad goes to California for med school but potentially gets kicked out, it’s unclear. So Belly moves to Paris to “study” (I’ve literally never seen her study before this) and meets this Timothee Chalamet knockoff and now they live together, I think. And that pretty much takes you up until the series finale which drops tomorrow.

With all that in mind, I wanted to power rank Belly’s potential romantic outcomes, in order of most to least likely. I have never read the books and I have stayed away from spoilers, so this is all me shooting from the hip. Let me know in the comments below who your pick is – Without further ado, let’s jump in!

  1. Conrad (2:1) – At the end of the last episode, he was getting on an airplane to Paris (he definitely must have gotten expelled from med school) to I guess go find Belly and bang under the Eiffel Tower? If this guy’s dad wasn’t funding his every move, he’d never be able to afford that plane ticket. Still, it seems like they have the best chemistry and I could see Belly sticking with Conrad for at least 6 months after this until she decides she wants to sleep with Jeremiah again.
  2. Jeremiah (5:1) – This one seems a little less played out because he already dumped Belly at the altar (or vice versa) and he’s also kind of homeless. How does he afford all that conditioner for his hair? And what does he actually do at his dad’s company? Probably money laundering / cooking the books, but it’s never been totally revealed. Hoping for closure on this in the finale…
  3. French Chalamet (10:1) – I think he peaked too early because they were smooching and banging in the penultimate episode and maybe living together. There’s no way this guy is going to last all the way to the finish line, and who knows if he even wants to move to America with Belly. Plus I feel like it’s gotta be hard to get a Green Card given the current administration and also Belly absolutely sucks so why would he move to the US for this lady? France is way better than Cape Cod.
  4. Jeremiah and Conrad’s dad (20:1) – This would really be unexpected because these two haven’t really explored their sexual chemistry yet and there’s seemingly like a 25 year age gap, but Belly is totally legal now and this dad seems like the type to use his power and influence to pressure a much younger female into a sexual relationship, especially if she starts “interning” at his company. Plus this dad has already been banging his regular secretary for years, it’s not that big a deal if Belly slips in there. Plus she needs a high paying job.
  5. Belly’s mom (50:1) – The whole mom / daughter thing is just an internet porn trope and it doesn’t happen in real life. Good thing this is the Summer I Turned Pretty and not real life. But no, I don’t want to see this. Oh I just remembered her name, Laurel! Which brings me to my next point…
  6. This isn’t actually a Belly-related prediction, but I have been wanting to see Laurel and Conrad get hot and heavy for at least the last 7-8 episodes. There is some real sexual tension in the air and the chemistry is electric. Forget the age difference – this one would drive those ratings up up and away. Please please please!!!!! Show everything!
  7. Someone from the debutante ball that we forgot about (75:1) – It’s unlikely because it’s been like 6 years since the debutante ball happened, but I do distinctly recall Belly bumping and grinding on some of her fellow 10th graders during an LMFAO song (maybe Party Rock Anthem, I can’t remember) so anything is possible. That booty just wouldn’t quit.
  8. No one, Belly just focuses on herself (impossible) – Supposedly you’re supposed to ‘mature’ at your debutante ball but Belly is so reliant on others for her own happiness and emotional stability that this has a 0% chance of happening. And if the writers do decide to go this direction, it’s completely out of character for her. She has zero ability to go 5 days without sleeping with this guy, that guy, or that other guy and his brother. Sorry girl!

So there you have my predictions. Tune in on September 17th for the shocking finale! And although I’ve never been to a debutante ball myself, I am a quinceanera veteran, as you can see in the picture below. Thanks for reading!

Spoiler Statute of Limitations

Hey Beaners

You probably thought I was dead didn’t you! While we’ve been busy with the podcast and our BRAND new Father’s Day song for 2019 (posted below), it’s been about a month since we posted on the blog, which is the longest drought we’ve had since we launched in the winter. If you haven’t been following the show, it’s been a super busy time for us as I packed up shop and moved to Chicago. Between the new apartment, new job, connections with new and old friends, the couch getting, the NBA Finals and Stanley Cup watching, and the live tweeting (boy, that’s a lot of things to be in between all at once. Reminds me of the Oscars after party at Lady Gaga’s condo), I just haven’t had a lot of time to sit down at my desk and write. Frankly, there were 2 days there in between jobs where I wasn’t even employed and didn’t even have a desk. What happens if you’re in between jobs and you get in an accident or have a medical emergency and you don’t have health insurance? Like if I was driving from Baltimore to Chicago and I chipped my tooth on a slim jim at a rest stop in Toledo, what’s the deal? Am I just eating that cost? No pun intended??? These are the things I think about. Anyways, here’s the Father’s Day song. Hope you like it

HFD Dad

Ok so on my other show I co-host, the White Noise Podcast (now available on Stitcher), my buddy and co-host Matt and I were discussing Gladiator and I accidentally spoiled the 3rd act of the film, except Gladiator came out in 2000 so I don’t really feel like mentioning that Joaquin Phoenix stabs Russell Crowe is much of a spoiler, not to mention anyone could have seen that coming anyways. Did you know Gladiator came out on Cinco de Mayo? That’s appropriate because in the movie apparently Russell Crowe is like half spanish and half italian. Eh mama mia! At what point did we stop referring to Romans as Romans and refer to them as Italians? You never hear someone in 2019 be like “oh she’s a pretty good looking Roman broad” and that’s probably more because of Title IX and #metoo, but you know what I’m saying? When did we make that shift? And who was Roman Polanski? That’s the guy hanging out in Europe cuz the US wants to nail him, right? Shouldn’t the UN be able to do something about that? That was probably the worst part about the Obamadministration–Why couldn’t we nail that guy? And what about Ray Lewis?? He straight up killed a dude

So to get back to the actual purpose of this blog post, what’s the statute of limitations on movie spoilers? Does it depend on the type of movie? Remember in that one Seinfeld episode when Frank is talking about Harrison Ford jumping out of the helicopter in Firestorm but Mr. Ross is like ‘yo homeboy I haven’t seen that one yet!” I think I really would’ve liked Firestorm a lot–I kind of imagine it as Air Force One but with a more badass villain (no offense to Gary Oldman but it was kind of a meh from me) and a more action hero-esque Harrison Ford (think more like Temple of Doom). I think something like 3 months is enough time to hold onto the spoilers, unless it’s a movie where the whole thing is the twist. For instance, I wouldn’t ever want to spoil The Sixth Sense, Memento, or Shutter Island to you because while they’re great movies even if you understand how they work before getting into them, they’re frankly way less fun. On the other hand, if you tell me that Joaquin Phoenix stabs Russell Crowe in Gladiator, well I kind of feel like any dummy could have figured something like that was gonna occur at some point. Similarly, telling me that Stinky Pete is actually a bad guy in Toy Story 2 really doesn’t feel that bad to me. So I guess I’m saying it’s a judgment call. Sorry to anyone who hasn’t seen Gladiator or Toy Story 2 yet. It really feels like you missed the boat on those ones.

That’s about all I got. Thanks for reading my blog, and don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already. Hopefully I’ll be on here more frequently now that I’m settling in to more of a routine. Happy June!